Humor

Cost of a Good Man

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Composition of the Internet

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If only this were true. There is a lack of hardcore porn on the Internet, the soccer moms have taken over, so now there is more DIY info for making toaster cozies than there is high quality, freely available hard-core porn.

True Nerdism

Moo

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https://bugs.launchpad.net/ubuntu/+source/apt/+bug/56125

Read over this bug report and see if you find it as amusing as numerous geeks have.

Hiking for Leisure

Hiking is a healthy and fun outdoor activity.

Cured at Last

Cured at Last…
Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over a drink, one asked,
“What was your most difficult case?”
The other replied, “I had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world. He believed
that an uncle in South America was going to die and leave him a fortune. All day
long he waited for a letter to arrive from an attorney. He never went out, he never
did anything, he merely sat around and waited for this fantasy letter from this
fantasy uncle. I worked with this man for eight years.”
“What was the result?”
“It was an eight-year struggle. Every day for eight years, but I finally cured him.
And then that damn letter arrived!”
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I decided to share this joke with my blog readers, as in some twisted way it relates to a recent event in my life (only I had to wait 3 years, not 8). Also a reminder that those of us in a fantasy world aren’t always wrong ;-)

What To Do When You Meet A Homosexual


1. Do not run screaming from the room. This is rude.
2. If you must back away, do so slowly and with discretion.
3. Do not assume they are attracted to you.
4. Do not assume they are not attracted to you.
5. Do not expect them to be as excited about meeting a heterosexual as you may be about meeting a gay person.
6. Do not immediately start talking about your boy/girlfriend or husband/wife in order to make it clear that you are straight.
7. Do not ask them how they got this way. Instead, ask yourself how you got the way you are.
8. Do not assume they are dying to talk about being gay.
9. Do not expect them to refrain from talking about being gay.
10. Do not trivialize their experience by assuming it is a bedroom issue only. They are gay 24 hours a day.

Will it ever end?

I was looking for the link for the previous entry, and ran across something totally weird:

I don’t know about the rest of you, but ive never had a need to instant message a librarian. Also… Wouldn’t it be more useful to just use a chat feature in the page itself, especially since someone like myself might want to get information from the computer labs without having to walk all the way over there to the library?

Caught With Your Pants Down

Father O’Leary, an elderly priest, invited Father Diaz, a young priest, over for dinner. During the meal, Father Diaz couldn’t help noticing how attractive the houseboy was.
Reading the young priest’s thoughts, Father O’Leary said: “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my houseboy is purely professional.”
About a week later, the houseboy came to the elderly priest and said, “Father O’Leary, ever since Father Diaz came over for dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose he took it now, do you?”
Father O’Leary said: ” Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write a letter to him, just to be sure.”
So he sat down and wrote: “Dear Father Diaz, I’m not saying that you did take a silver gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.”
Several days later the elderly priest received a letter from Father Diaz which read:
“Dear Father O’Leary, I’m not saying that you do sleep with your houseboy, and I’m not saying that you do not sleep with your houseboy. But the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have found the gravy ladle by now.”

A Bit of Humor

Got this joke via email earlier, I thought it was hysterical.

When Uncle Charlie died of old age, Bill was bequeathed his uncle’s prized Amazon
parrot. This parrot was fully grown — with a bad attitude and a worse vocabulary.
Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the
very least, extremely rude.
Bill tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite
words, playing soft music — anything he could think of to try and set a good
example…
Nothing worked. Exasperated, he yelled at the bird. But the bird just got louder.
Then he shook the parrot. But the bird just got more angry and more rude.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, Bill put the parrot in the freezer.
For a few moments he heard the bird squawking, kicking, and screaming…
Then, suddenly, all was quiet.
Bill was frightened that he might have hurt his dead uncle’s prized parrot and
quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto Bill’s extended arm and said: “I am truly sorry
that I might have offended you with my language and action and I humbly ask your
forgiveness. I will now, from this day forth, endeavor to correct my behavior so
that such an ill-perceived outburst never again occurs.”
Bill was completely astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask
what had caused such a dramatic change when the parrot continued: “May I ask what
the chicken did?”